LesleyV
Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 14
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Reply with quote | #1 |
Congrats to "Ayricka" for getting her dates. I look forward to hearing about your journey.
Nothing has been mentioned to me about looseing prior to surgery but my PATs is 16 Nov and Surg on 02 Dec. I am feeling alittle nervous since most people surrounding me are not reacting positively to my decision to have this done - all seem to feel if I went on a stricter diet and exercised more I should be able to do it on my own. However they dont realize I have other issues like bad hip that prevent me from doing alot of the exerciseing that I used to do. Most have noticed I do not go to curves anymore or swimming aqua arobics. Even walking at lunch hurts to the point that I cannot do it long enough for it to do me any good. I find it hard to explain to them and I feel like I am just making excuses so I dont bother anymore. One of my coworkers told me today that I will never be able to eat french fries or anything ever again. Is this true? I do realize that I will be eating differently but I thought there would still be occasions when I can have the foods I love in moderation. Now they have me scared and questioning my decision. Help I need som reassurance.
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WVSue
Registered: 02/10/09
Posts: 199
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Reply with quote | #2 |
Leslie, I have been chatting with another gal from this board about the very same thing. Her friends are saying the same type of stuff to her and after a little discussion we came to the conclusion that maybe there is a little jealousy there and a hint of laziness that they aren't pursuing the road to health.
If the people who are closest to you don't support you then you need to really surround yourself with those who will. You need people who care about you and will help you through this ride of a lifetime. This is an emotional as well as physical change and people who fight you on your decision will not be easy to deal with. But deal with them, you must.
Once you lose the weight your joints (and hip) will be relieved of so much pressure and pain and you WILL be able to excercise again and do so much more. Yes, you will be able to eat the "regular foods" again but gues what? You won't want to. You will be so excited about the weight loss you will be making healthier choices. Not having french fries again is my choice if it helps me be healthy again. I got into a size 16 jeans today (yea me) and it wasn't by eating french fries! Frankly, I don't miss them either. The only food that I am scared to death of is anything with sugar because I don't want to go near "dumping syndrome".
BTW, I had the RNY and that is something we have to concern ourselves with. If you are having the lap band your food considerations are going to be a bit different. (My answers have been based on the assumption that you too are having the RNY. If not, I stand corrected but the concept of healthier eating still applies)
This whole thing is a big commitment from the get go. That's one of the reasons they put you through a psych evaluation. What is the sense in going through all this if you can't handle it? Be strong, learn everything you can, talk to others and be proud of your decisions.
I hope this helps. Granted I am not to my goal by a long shot but I worked on this whole thing for 2.5 years before my actual surgery. I did a lot of research and thinking during that time. I made the right decision. I WILL live long enough to see my Granddaughter go to college and get married some day. I WILL be around to enjoy the rest of my life with the most wonderful man in the world. My future is filled with the "I WILLS!". Yours can too.
It's natural to feel nervous. Many of us did. It's the fear of the unknown. You'll be okay. Post often and read this board. A lot of awesome people post here. Hugs, Sue
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Consult with Dr Custer, Groveport, Ohio 2/6/09 Weight at Consult a whopping 213
BMI 41
PATS: 9-10-09
RNY surgery: 9-29-09
One week checkup: 10-06-09
6 week checkup: 11-11-09
Back to work: 11-12-09
My Weight Chart:
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RacerX
Registered: 03/21/09
Posts: 52
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Reply with quote | #3 |
Hi Leslie,
What the people are telling you is correct. If you eat less and exercise, you will lose all the weight you want to. There is no magic to weight loss. You either take in less or burn more and all the weight will go away. It is really that simple, that is why almost everyone you see is in perfect shape.
Oh wait, almost everyone isn't in shape...
Well, what I said is still true, it is just soooo hard to make the perfect decisions every day. But with help, it can be much easier. The RNY seriously limits what you can eat both by amount of food and by fat and sugar content. The band only limits volume. I chose the RNY because I felt I needed all the help I could get. And what everyone says is true, with RNY you find that you don't want those other foods. They will not taste or smell good. I know it is hard to imagine now, but they will not. I couldn't go near a McDonald's for months because the smell of the grease would make me sick.
Regardless of what you have planned, you will invariably get a bunch of people who tell you that you should try harder. I was told more than once that I was fat because I was lazy. I was and still am the most active person I know. I can't sit still for a minute. I have a bunch of advanced technical degrees, worked ridiculous hours, and never stop moving. How could I be lazy? I still do all those things, but now, minus almost 200 pounds, I skate, cycle, and can run up to six miles at a time too. Just for fun! And I love it!
You know what I say now to the people who called me lazy? Ptthhhh! Is that how you spell the traditional raspberry?
Good luck and let us know what we can do to calm your fears. That is why we are all on this site.
Brian
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Lap RNY - Dr. Schram - 31 March 2008
Weight at Surgery - 391 Lbs
Current Weight - 206 Lbs |
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Hoffmandeb
Registered: 08/19/08
Posts: 901
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Reply with quote | #4 |
Lesley, what has been said here already is true. To helll with those people, they can support you in your decision, or you have to make the choice to have them in your life or not.
I heard the same things... exercise more, eat less. Works for some, not for me. My knees were so bad I couldn't walk to the mailbox without pain. I now do miles at a time. I keep up with my grandchildren, next weekend we are going to New York. I will be able to walk and run with them in Central Park. Last year there was no way I would have been able to do that.
Your not going to want the junk food. It won't have the appeal that it now has. Gee... um, McDonalds french fries or Victoria's Secret undies... made my choice. Once the weight starts coming off, you are going to be so into so many different things your going to wonder why you ever fretted.
I was scared and this surgery WILL change your life forever. Hopefully for the better. I researched this for 5 years, I fought the insurance company. I am still fighting them. I would not return to that old me for any amount of money. I love my new life, for now I LIVE... each and every day to it's fullest.
You should look into going to a support group meeting if at all possible in your area. There you will get great information and support from people who have been where you are now. These boards will also do that for you, but I like going to the meetings too.
Good luck in your weight loss journey, remember we are always here for you.
Anytime you have questions or just need to vent. You can do it here.
Deb
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Lap RNY 4/8/09
Langhorne, PA
Dr. Boe
Highest weight in Feb 09 303
Weight at PAT'S 299
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swirg53
Registered: 09/23/08
Posts: 1,854
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Reply with quote | #5 |
Okay, I'm going to give you a bit of a different slant. You can still have the foods you love now in moderation. You may still desire those foods down the road and you may still have those foods in moderation but you will get sick if you eat too much of those foods. What Sue said was very important; you had this surgery to lose weight and why go through all this to go back to the way you were. If you are going to do that, then don't have the surgery in the first place. It's alot to go through, if you are just going to go back to the place you are now.
I'm having a really hard time getting the exercise in. My joints are so bad that they hurt when I exercise still. I want to do too much at a time--not take it slow and easy. We are going on vacation at the end of this month and then another vacation at the beginning of December. When those are over, I will return to the gym and start again on a very low impact and slow program and try again.
As for the people in your life...........................you can't necessarily just ditch these people out of your life...........................but you can ignore them......they don't understand about weight loss surgery and they most likely do not understand about losing weight or how difficult it is to lose weight. I would suggest that you just kindly thank them for their advice and go about your business. And actually, you will indeed be following their advice by having weight loss surgery. You will be eating less and you will be moving more! How about that!!!!! Cool indeed! Later on, you can really thank all those people for their great advice! Won't that just be the coolest thing! They will just be so flabbergasted!
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Susan (Petoskey MI)
(Ticker Starting Wt: 262.6# on 2/8/09 4 Days before Surgery; Goal wt set by me: 131#)
Barix Clinic Ypsilanti MI Dr. Andre Nunn, LAP RNY
Initial Consult: 9/22/08
Insurance Approval: Nov. 08
Scheduled: 11/25/08
PATs: 1/26/09
Surgery: 2/11/09 Home from Hosp: 2/13/09
Surgery #2: 3/4/09 Home from Hosp: 3/5/09
PATs for Surgery #3: 3/26/09
Surgery #3: 3/30/09 Home from Hosp: 4/3/09
4/25/09: 223.8#
5/24/09: 213.6#
7/1/09: 202.0#
7/3/09: 199.8# ONEderland!
8/11/09: 189.0# 40" Lost!
9/15/09: 178.2# BMI under 30!
10/23/09: 167.8# 72% of Excess Wt Lost! From Size 26 to Size 14/16!
11/13/09: 161.7# Over 100# Lost!
swirg53.blogspot.com |
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carma
Registered: 08/05/09
Posts: 62
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Reply with quote | #6 |
Hi Lesley,If you have done your research, and explored all avenues that you've needed to for weight loss, and have now come to the decision that WLS is the right choice for you, then do it and don't look back! I have come to the conclusion that most people who've never had to struggle with morbid obesity, will never understand how damaging it can be socially, emotionally, and physically. My own family did not agree with me having the surgery, but they have respected my decision and have supported me thoroughly. If the people surrounding you are not your family or close friends, then who gives a crap what they think. You are doing this for you. Not them. If they want to make negative comments just politely say you do not wish to discuss it any further and change the subject. As for your family, I believe that they will come around, and support you as mine has, even if they don't agree. Try to remember too, with any surgery comes risk and people who love and care about you, worry about you. It is a difficult path to follow, but if you work hard and persevere you will succeed. WLS is a tool you can use to help achieve your goals. The work comes from within you, it is not easy but it is well worth it. Good luck, Cara
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OHIP papers faxed August 11/09
OHIP approved August 31/09
PATS completed Oct 12/09
RNY surgery Oct 22/09
Home Oct 24/09
Learning new "Tricks" to replace the "Treats" this Halloween!!
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Ayricka
Registered: 06/15/09
Posts: 15
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Reply with quote | #7 |
Firstly, thanks for the congrats Lesley!
Secondly, there is so much more to weight loss than calories in calories out, and we all know it. Noone takes this surgery lightly. If people can't be supportive of you than you need to re-evaluate that friendship, cause if they can't be supportive now, what happens when you lose all those lbs? When you really are different, not only physically but in your level of ability and confidence?
I personally have been very careful about who I told about my surgery. I don't advocate it to anyone, actually. I had a friend tell me she was going to do it cause she didn't want to take the time to lose it with weight watchers (or other healthy method), she wanted a quick fix. It was very offensive to me that she should expect to get the same results with no effort. She just didn't get who she was talking to. I was and am still a huge weight watchers supporter, I lost 172 lbs through them, and think that people should be exploring methods such as that before coming to a decision about surgery. However, to be clear, I don't think anyone would be risking their health or life to have surgery if they hadn't been through the gamut already.
I have recieved some less than supportive feedback, but mostly positive. Sometimes people need time to adjust, and I think some people let their fear of losing you, or something bad happening, cloud the fact that this surgery could save your life.
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LesleyV
Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 14
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Reply with quote | #8 |
Thanks to everyone for the encouraging words - I think I will take the advise and trust my decision/research and luckly enough I have a great husband who is behind any decision I make - he has been my greatist supporter and loves me no matter what. My parents also have accepted my decision and are very supportive - to Hell with anyone else. Althought I would have liked their support i am going to try very hard only to surround myself with positive people. This forum has really helped - talking with people who really understand.
Good luck to all and I am looking forward to starting this journey with everyone here.
Thanks
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molynn69
Registered: 08/24/08
Posts: 3,201
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Reply with quote | #9 |
Lesley, it seems you have made your decision and I wish you luck but I will stress that having this surgery is a LIFE changing decision. You MUST be willing to follow a dramatically different diet post-surgery or you will not be successful in the long term. I know too many people who have had the surgery and don't follow the rules and gain their weight back. They looked at it like a 'magic' fix. It is not ... it is a TOOL that will help you when diets fail but you have to work with the tool and that does mean avoiding foods like french fries.
That doesn't mean you can never have them again but if you start your journey looking forward to the time when you can eat those bad foods again, you are doing yourself a disservice. Unfortunately, I am not one of the lucky ones who no longer crave the bad foods. I still miss my french fries and pizza and ice cream ... but I make the conscious decision each day to not eat them as I rearranged my insides so I could be healthy. As Susan said, theoretically ... you can eat anything in moderation once you hit your goal but you have to be aware that some choices are not healthy and you should work on letting them go now. That is the lifestyle change that is required. Someone said when I was early in my journey that their Dr told them he could fix their stomach and not their head, the head part is the hardest for me. I wish you all the luck in the world. I 100% support my decision for this surgery. I spent a lifetime dieting and nothing worked long term. If you are dedicated, then as you said "to Hell with everyone else."
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Monica
Weight loss prior to surgery: 17.5 pounds
Initial Consult: 7/16/08 Weight 349
Psych Eval: 8/6/08 - Insurance Approved: 8/20/08
2nd Consult: 8/25/08 Weight 344
P.A.T.: 09/10/08 Weight 339
Lap RNY: 09/25/08 Weight 331.5
Dr. Nunn in Ypsilanti (post-op weight 339)
2 week follow-up (10/7/08) Weight 316.5
6 week follow-up (11/4/08) Weight 305.0
Two-derland (11/19/08)!!!
3 month follow-up (12/22/08) Weight 279.0
6 month follow-up (04/16/09) Weight 239.1
9 month follow-up (07/15/09) Weight 214.2
One-derland (08/14/09)!!!
1 year surgiversary (09/25/09) Weight 195
Gallbladder removed (10/27/09) |
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DiminishingDawn
Registered: 05/14/06
Posts: 771
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Reply with quote | #10 |
One of my coworkers told me today that I will never be able to eat french fries or anything ever again. Is this true? I do realize that I will be eating differently but I thought there would still be occasions when I can have the foods I love in moderation. Now they have me scared and questioning my decision. Help I need som reassurance.
Incredibly far from the truth. Obviously she's not had gastric bypass and you really should correct her and tell her that she doesn't know her stuff. I don't understand how people can be an armchair expert and spread misinformation!
The reality is that for a while you may not be able to. They might upset your pouch and make you incredibly ill (for some, not all). For a long time, you will feel amazing and focused and you will not want these foods (what stage many of the above posters are in). You'll feel like you have control over food and you won't want to "poison" your body with foods that got you fat in the first place.
Eventually you will partake in the french fries again. But you'll have to find moderation. This is hard for many. It may be a battle mentally not get back into old habits over time. That's a good reason for therapy - eventually many of our food issues come back again and people regain the weight. Most people cannot understand this being a year out -- the surgery is incredibly forgiving and that honeymoon phase makes you feel invincible. Eventually though focus wanes and old habits come back so you have to work to keep them in check or you could give in too many times and regain a ton of weight back.
If you wanted those french fries bad enough, you could eat them a few months out of surgery. I know people that have only a few months out. They are the ones who never even get close to getting to goal because they are back to old habits right away.
It's all about what you want and how bad you want it.
Dawn
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3 years post op as of July 09!
I had lap rny with Dr. Pop in July 2006.
I love to chat about wls, answer questions and share my experiences. Need OHIP info? Email me anytime!
email me: goldenlover@cogeco.ca
http://www.diminishingdawn.com |
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